It's been a while...

since I've had one of those days. I'm very thankful they don't come often.
For some reason it came yesterday.

There is still some gunk left in my soul from old situations.

Maybe it was a combination of things...
that poem from J yesterday
the conversation with A. about art and drawing again
and my dreams of having a show based on the experiences I've had
seeing my friends who have a relationship that's amazing
exposing my frustration about being single and never being asked out
repeatedly seeing women line up dude after dude...sometimes with no breaks in between them

I don't get it. But it all came flooding in yesterday.

For a little while I didn't want to wake up this morning.

Today is better.

This man's voice

...gave me chills last night at his show.

check it.

Sigh...

my list

This has come up several times with different people so I'm just going to throw this out there.
Things I know I like and I'd choose in a person if I had a choice:
(in no particular order)
certifiably single (common law and reality law)
chill personality (no neat-freaks or punctuality nuts)
artistic or musical in some way
has a steady job / career / something he's passionate about
doesn't live with parents
doesn't need me to be his mom
independent
has his own friends
can stay up late
will sleep in sometimes
is respectful of women and doesn't mind a woman being in charge from time to time
IS ABLE TO BE IN CHARGE AND MAKE DECISIONS WITHOUT FLIP FLOPPING
handy
open-minded, but conservative acting
doesn't have a list of exes (casual or serious) a mile long
athletic
nice butt
can run 3 miles
strong hands
will be patient with my forgetfulness / clumsiness / messiness
is able to hold a conversation with me and my friends
is nice to strangers and children
likes to travel
has been or is a teacher or coach
no smoking
light to no drinking
no drugs
no surprise kids / exes that he doesn't claim
no pets
nice lips
curly hair
will help people in need
is respectful of older people
is not homophobic or racist
can make plans and carry them out (personally and professionally)
likes the ocean and the country
won't make fun of my accent
is confident but not a pompous jerk about it
somewhat stylish (but not metro or femme)
is okay with getting dirty and working hard
at least my height unless he's 110% okay with dating a taller girl (shorter dudes seem to have issues sometimes)

(Plus all the other obvious stuff...has all his teeth, treats me nice, pays his bills, won't be unfaithful, etc. etc.)

Some are more important than others...not all are absolutes.

aloof

- the connotation is negative, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing

I was wrong.

Snap shirts and plaid both suck.

As do indie glasses runner boys.

Not even a fucking week. Wow.

A first date

...with a bearded, indie glasses runner boy in a snap shirt.

Plaid maybe isn't so bad afterall.

online crap, Mr. Intentional

When you stumble upon words that people have written.
Who once meant something to you...or you meant something to them.
It's hard not to take meaning from their words.

So I wonder if mentioning volleyball, and bump, set, spike and throwing each other off of our game was intentional.

Was it Mr.?

Shows in 2008

Someone asked me tonight what shows I went to this past year...and that made me want to make a list.

April 1 - Kimya Dawson
April 11 - Ben Folds
June 22 - The National
May 11 - Radiohead in VA
May 14 - Radiohead in St. Louis
May 15 - Basia Bulat & DeVotchka
June 19 - Marionette & Calpurnia
July 29 - MGMT
September 16 - Mogwai
September 24 - Sigur Rós in Chicago
September 25 - Hayden in St. Louis
October 8 - Atmosphere
October 21 - Broken Social Scene
October 28 - Get Out and Vote '08 (Jack Johnson, Beastie Boys, Sheryl Crow, Norah Jones)
November 1 - Of Montreal
November 7 - Mos Def
November 8 - Mark Kozelek in Carrboro
November 12 - Conor Oberst
December 11 - Mills Family Band & David Shultz