My tendency is to want to know or project the outcome of a situation as soon as it begins. I have no patience. And I'm a very black and white person. It is what it is. I'm either all in, or heading out the door.
I want to know how I relate to a person or a situation and I envision how the future looks between myself and the person or situation. I've had encounters with people where I knew instantly that we would be great friends. I have also walked into situations that I knew would be awful and left as quickly as possible.
I don't kid myself that I have any sort of futuristic vision or anything like that...I just notice lots of details.
The change in a tone of voice. The pause on the other end of the phone line. The wording in a letter...or the missing words when someone's just not saying certain things.
I guess I'm pretty perceptive when it comes to my everyday dealings with people. And I have an excellent memory.
So I'm constantly seeing, and gathering, and analyzing, and remembering how the current situation or person reminds me in some way of a previous one I've encountered. I have a pretty good bullshit meter most of the time and when my instincts tell me someone is not being honest with me or genuine in their dealings, I usually write them off.
But not everything is black and white all the time.
And people have shades of gray.
I do...though I want to pretend like I don't.
This week, three of my friends have advised me to be patient about a situation / person.
I don't know what will happen. And it makes me squirm.
I want to take control of it in some way. Either by moving it forward or ending it.
But I won't.
This crap is really hard.
But I'm going to try to be...
patient.
