I added a third to the list.
It was pretty decent.
One more to double the number before 30. My old roommate and I jokingly said that should be a goal of mine.
I only have 2 months until that milestone, so it's not likely.
But I'm okay with that.
I'm adding more potentials to the list...and scratching others off...every few days or so.
At least I'm not as much of a hater.
So that's a step in the right direction.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
letting stuff go
June 19, 2004 I got married.
On a Tuesday in May, 2006 I walked out of my house in Chesterfield County.
I never went back to live there.
September 12, 2007, my divorce was final.
(I just looked up this stuff because I had to submit paperwork to roll over some 401(k) moneys from my teaching job back when my last name was different.)
I am going to be 30 in 2 months.
I am the brokest I've ever been.
I have been single for the longest time in my life since before I liked boys.
I don't own a home.
I don't have kids.
And I'm not sure I want to ever get married again.
I don't do certain things very often that I used to feel obligated to....
church
exercise
brushing my hair
calling my mother
using an alarm clock
working 40+ hours every week
grocery shopping
I feel really selfish about my time and energy and emotions most of the time.
And I'm starting to be okay with that.
My compass used to be set based on my parents, or church, or career, or friends.
But now I mostly operate based on this question...
Do I want to?
Not:
Is it right?
Is it wrong?
What will "they" think?
How will "they" feel?
What am I supposed to do?
I still have a pretty strong internal voice that keeps me on track with my responsibilities and with big moral and ethical issues. And I'd like to think that I'm able to give adequate time and energy to the people I really care about.
But I'm trying to let go of the small stuff.
The things I'm hanging onto because someone else thought I should.
On a Tuesday in May, 2006 I walked out of my house in Chesterfield County.
I never went back to live there.
September 12, 2007, my divorce was final.
(I just looked up this stuff because I had to submit paperwork to roll over some 401(k) moneys from my teaching job back when my last name was different.)
I am going to be 30 in 2 months.
I am the brokest I've ever been.
I have been single for the longest time in my life since before I liked boys.
I don't own a home.
I don't have kids.
And I'm not sure I want to ever get married again.
I don't do certain things very often that I used to feel obligated to....
church
exercise
brushing my hair
calling my mother
using an alarm clock
working 40+ hours every week
grocery shopping
I feel really selfish about my time and energy and emotions most of the time.
And I'm starting to be okay with that.
My compass used to be set based on my parents, or church, or career, or friends.
But now I mostly operate based on this question...
Do I want to?
Not:
Is it right?
Is it wrong?
What will "they" think?
How will "they" feel?
What am I supposed to do?
I still have a pretty strong internal voice that keeps me on track with my responsibilities and with big moral and ethical issues. And I'd like to think that I'm able to give adequate time and energy to the people I really care about.
But I'm trying to let go of the small stuff.
The things I'm hanging onto because someone else thought I should.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Lists part 1: jobs
Jobs:
Red Orange - part-time now, ending at the end of this month
Hoople - per project, just got a few jobs last week with a few more coming this week
Captain Buzzy's - least-financially-lucrative but most stable
Cities for Small Towns - going SO SLOW, partly because of conflicting schedules, partly because of redirection / indecision
Potential jobs:
restaurant services logo - sent an estimate, business owner won't pull the trigger
music label - sent an estimate, business owner hasn't responded one way or the other
non-profit science teacher website - estimate sent, waiting for the project to start
financial company - estimate sent but one of the members ended up working with a buddy of his
Just applied for:
web designer for a financial company downtown - looks like near where I worked before, ugh, flashbacks
contract creative services support with Media General - could be interesting if it's not full-time
graphic artist with the state of va - looks like billboard animation and graphics, meh
graphic / web designer with state of va
web designer for comsys? - wtf
Red Orange - part-time now, ending at the end of this month
Hoople - per project, just got a few jobs last week with a few more coming this week
Captain Buzzy's - least-financially-lucrative but most stable
Cities for Small Towns - going SO SLOW, partly because of conflicting schedules, partly because of redirection / indecision
Potential jobs:
restaurant services logo - sent an estimate, business owner won't pull the trigger
music label - sent an estimate, business owner hasn't responded one way or the other
non-profit science teacher website - estimate sent, waiting for the project to start
financial company - estimate sent but one of the members ended up working with a buddy of his
Just applied for:
web designer for a financial company downtown - looks like near where I worked before, ugh, flashbacks
contract creative services support with Media General - could be interesting if it's not full-time
graphic artist with the state of va - looks like billboard animation and graphics, meh
graphic / web designer with state of va
web designer for comsys? - wtf
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